XXV. Presents.

This week was my lucky week as I was blessed with surprises FOR NO REASON (be jealous),

BUT

I have a feeling they're to prepare me for later...

To add to my owl collection. *swoon*

From Janice.

From my student Grace. She knew my favorite color.

From lunch today. After talking with my friend Glorya about possibly volunteering with Future Island School in Ghana, West Africa. You should look into it too...

"For the Future"

I'm dreading Friday. That's when I lose all my amazing classes, including my RE5, and get new ones. My RE5 I've had for 6 months and they are like family to me. We're obsessed with each other. We're seriously a house full of nerds. We crack up about the most ridiculous things, and it's AMAZING. I'm so in love with them and I can't believe I have to say good-bye before I'm actually leaving Koreaaa :(

Could be worse.

Anyway, I can't imagine it getting any better than now, but there are room for surprises. I hope. Either way, who doesn't like being spoiled? ;]

Oh, and rock climbing anyone?

XXIII. Rawr.

Things are looking up. I'm finally starting to do the things that I wanted to do (after a year of "wasting time" but not really). Funny thing is I'm leaving Korea in 3mos. Surreal.

Definitely hit the "what do I do with my life?!" age and it seems pretty desolate- when I don't have the right perspective. But something dawned on me. Instead of living for the future, I should be living for the now. I need to stop looking ahead and stressin' over what I'm supposed to do next. I should just be doing whatever it is I'm doing now to the best of my ability and having a ball with it. Doors will open as they always do, and if they don't, it's because I'm supposed to be where I'm at. No matter what the next step is, I'll just tackle it too. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow; let tomorrow worry about itself.

So, hey today. Get ready for some major damage. And tomorrow...

XXIV. Promise.

[I'm not writing this to update anybody but to remind myself of why the heck I came to Korea. So, apologies if it sounds like another rant. I do what I want. :) ]

I left the comforts of home, my family, my amazing friends, my church, grad school, my band, and my ex-boyfriend to come to Korea, yes, to teach and to learn Korean, but ultimately to draw closer to God. I gave up everything in hope that God would be my everything.

Then when I arrived, I began to experience things from people that tore me apart, piece by piece (the most dangerous of ways to be broken). Jealously. Pride. Bitterness. Lust. I was snubbed, rejected, ignored, misunderstood, back-stabbed. I began to pity myself and look for others to pity me. I never knew myself like this. It was disgusting.

But, it's not like these things had never happen before. Or that I was ignorant of this broken world. But the unexpected bombardment of it all at once caused me to lose my foothold (which is why we should always be firmly founded in Christ). Gah.

I feel like I've taken ten steps back. Korea was getting to me. This monster in me that I never knew existed began to come out. I became impatient, judgmental, rude, bitter, insecure, distrusting, and the list goes on. Though my hopes were to give God my everything, I couldn't even so much as hand over a fingernail- and that was to take the planks out of other eyes. Ouch. I was obsessed with myself and how I'd been wronged.

I need forgiveness. And love. Jesus, I need you to fill me to overflowing, but so much more than before. I am truly nothing without you and so weak. I need to love, and not just with any love, but with the love from God.

I wrote a praise song in Korea, being in the depths of my foolishness, but how quickly I forgot the words:

Stand by me, as I face my darkest fears,

But they will fight with a high cost,

In a war they've already lost.

God, this is my commitment to you: to give you every second of my life. But imma need yo help.

XXII. 영광

No Jesus, no peace. Know Jesus, know peace.

I think someone's telling me something.

XXI. Hungry?

My family was never a "stuffed peppers" family, but man, is that about to change...

In Korea, you have to be creative with the food you make. Limited ingredients. Cramped space. Time constraint. Apathy.

After remembering a dish my friend made me try in middle school, I decided to whip this together (I was trying to clean out my food closet). It's my own SUPER easy version of stuffed peppers. I'm eating it now. Delicious:

Ingredients:

-3 red or yellow peppers

-chicken flavored wild rice

-sharp chedder cheese

-olive oil

Direction:

-Pre-cook the rice according to the package instructions and set aside.

-Wash the peppers and cut them in half, lengthwise, cleaning out the seeds.

-Rub a slight amount of olive oil in the pan as well as the outside of the peppers.

-Place the peppers in the pan and spoon generous amounts of the cooked rice into them.

-Then (my favorite part) smother, and I mean smother, those little suckers with cheese. Icing on the cake.

-Bake for about 15-20 minutes, checking regularly. The sides of the peppers should be a liiiittle brown and the cheese well melted.

Mmmm. Hope you like it :]